New York Tyrant

Father John Misty's "Pure Comedy" by Zachary Lipez

Jordan Castro

Father John Misty's "Pure Comedy" by Zachary Lipez

I want to defend the new Father John Misty album, “That’s Entertainment” or “All That Jazz” or “Misty Schmilsty,” without listening to it. This isn't even hard. In the words of Handsome Dick Manitoba: “This just a hobby for me.” Imagine if the Bob Dylan lyric “I said, “’You know they refused Jesus, too’ He said, ‘You're not Him’” was about you but you were Jesus. Or at least the white Jesus. That’s what it’s like to be Father John Misty.  Father John Misty, former godly post-rocker, now a man who renders unto Caesar like it’s his job. He just discovered the world outside...


Thank You, Andrew
by Zachary German

Jordan Castro

Thank You, Andrew <br>by Zachary German</br>
Standing on the dock in the afternoon rain, my dad says he’d rather I have a bad time fishing with my old man than a good time playing computer games.
     He doesn’t say things like “Your old man” much, but sometimes he does. Or he’ll call me sport, or champ, mostly when I do something dumb. One time I light a whole book of matches on fire and throw it on the floor and stomp on it. It leaves a black spot and my dad says, “You really just did that, huh.”

Keeps You Sharp
by Sam Pink

Jordan Castro

Keeps You Sharp <br>by Sam Pink</br>

I was walking home through downtown St. Pete, sweating badly.   

This older guy crossed paths with me near a concrete ledge overlooking an area of creek.  

'Man, goddamn it,' he said, stopping by me as though we'd already been talking.  

I stopped too.  

'This motherfucker….' he said, gesturing out somewhere.  

He had faded tattoos and big, raw pock marks all over his arms.  


Skevanston, Illinois by Drew Gamble

Jordan Castro

Comments 2

Skevanston, Illinois by Drew Gamble

In 1977, my parents bought a house on a busy street. The home fell inside of a half-square mile oddity of land and bureaucratic mishap that the locals called Skevanston. This real estate snafu allowed people like my parents to buy a better valued home in the city of Evanston’s school district while paying the town of Skokie’s lower property taxes.  I came into the home in 1984, as the fourth child and only boy. Across the street from us was a large field loomed over by a tall tree that grew blackberries the size of cicadas. They rotted in...


So You Think You Can Dance (On My Grave)
by Brad Phillips

Jordan Castro

So You Think You Can Dance (On My Grave) <br>by Brad Phillips</br>
Can you imagine I've never shaken one hand, never faked one smile, never kissed any curator's asymmetrically pant-clad ass, to achieve this comfortable if not wildly successful career I have?
     That in four years I've gone to six art openings, three mine, one my wife's, two my best friends. Did you know that was possible? To just stay home and work?

excerpts from Person/a
by Elizabeth Ellen

Jordan Castro

excerpts from <i>Person/a</i> <br>by Elizabeth Ellen</br>
Lately I have been wondering how many accidental car crashes are misdiagnosed suicides. It seems that if your intent is to kill yourself without afterward being thought an asshole by your friends and family, running your car into a tree or telephone pole would be the way to do it. Nobody gets hurt and everyone chalks it up as a “freak occurrence.” Of course now that I’ve posed the question in this form, I have eliminated it as a possibility for myself.

I AM YOUNG IN MY LOVE FOR THE MOON
by Leopoldine Core

Jordan Castro

I AM YOUNG IN MY LOVE FOR THE MOON <br>by Leopoldine Core</br>

I wanted to write a love poem

the most impossible thing

and I did 
and it wasn’t hard 

and afterward I took a walk
and nothing seemed hard.


Unmovable Mover
by May-Lan Tan (prod. Kumo)

Jordan Castro

Unmovable Mover <br>by May-Lan Tan (prod. Kumo)</br>
my other body always knows what to steal and when to stop

Five Poems
by Sam Cooke

Jordan Castro

Five Poems <br>by Sam Cooke</br>

Time poem

If time is money

and I don't have money

then I don't have time

for your bullshit


I Know About Micrograms Now
by Tao Lin

Jordan Castro

Comments 1

I Know About Micrograms Now <br>by Tao Lin</br>
In 2012 I didn't know much about micrograms.
Drugs I used then were measured mostly in milligrams.
2 milligrams of Xanax, 30 milligrams of Adderall.

Office Day
by Sarah Rose Etter

Jordan Castro

Office Day <br>by Sarah Rose Etter</br>
What do I do in the evenings? I take off the mask. I stare into the eyes of a man in a photograph. I hum. The humming is based on ancient chants I read about in a book. Lately, my concern has been with wholeness: Am I whole? Should I be completed? What will do the legwork of this completion?

WET HAIR
by Ben Fama

Jordan Castro

WET HAIR <br>by Ben Fama</br>

Yesterday you went to the desert

I put on Brahms channel

and washed the tub

my fur stood up

seeing your picture 

in my feed

pool boys change your towels

another violent news cycle 

you’re partying with a friend


Tupac Dies in the End
by Noah Cicero

Jordan Castro

Tupac Dies in the End <br>by Noah Cicero</br>
Tupac sits among the thousands of people at the Seldon vs. Tyson fight. Tupac feels calm. He loves Tyson, and he wants to watch a man get destroyed. He wants to experience victory. Suge Knight is sitting next to him - his best friend, his boss, the owner of Death Row Records. As Tupac looks around, he thinks that he has never felt like one of them. He has always felt, deep in his chest, that his life was an emergency, that he could never quit for even one second. Everyone around him lived in mimicry, and this mimicry killed him.

Three Poems
by Rachel B. Glaser

Jordan Castro

Three Poems <br>by Rachel B. Glaser</br>

does a mountain still get her period?
I wanna b a racoon 
but still date Donny H. like I do now
I see two earths in my eyes in Art Class 
in teacher’s mirror 
if I go to college, I need it to be Dance College
where I can major in Sex


Chicken
by Brandon Hobson

Jordan Castro

Chicken <br>by Brandon Hobson</br>
Back when I was doing cocaine, we found a chicken in our yard. We weren’t sure how it got there, but it wouldn’t leave. My wife made me take a broom outside to try to scare it away.
     “It’s just a chicken,” I said.
     “You’re a chicken,” she said.

Interview for the Position of Grand Inquisitor
by Ken Baumann

Jordan Castro

1. The ability of language to comfort has eroded entirely. Words spoken now serve only to point. You’re given the material means to craft a language free of the dead weight of history. Describe its grammar.

Some Dogs I Know
by Bud Smith

Jordan Castro

  Pug — Pugs are generally short. Fat. Slow. They can't breathe. Dull teeth and bad breath. Eyes that fall out sometimes. Similar in size and temperament to a mutated regulation NFL football just sitting there wobbling. Our pug was like that, but also, she was obsessed with flipping rocks and eating whatever slimy or crunchy things were under the rocks. Our back yard fence was lined with flower beds edged from jetty rock, and spring, summer, fall, our pug walked in a continuous loop sniffing and then flipping the jetty rocks, which were almost as big as her. Under...


APRIL TYRANT: JORDAN CASTRO

Jordan Castro

APRIL TYRANT: JORDAN CASTRO

Hi everyone, The function of this post is to provide an easily accessible, organized list of everything I publish this month, for people to enjoy in the future. I will continually update it as the month goes along. Here is a similar post containing links to everything I published in December: https://nytyrant.com/blogs/new-york-tyrant-blog/december-tyrant-jordan-castro Thank you, Jordan *** Some Dogs I Know by Bud Smith, illustrations by Rae BuleriInterview for the Position of Grand Inquisitor by Ken BaumannChicken by Brandon HobsonThree Poems by Rachel B. GlaserTupac Dies in the End by Noah CiceroWET HAIR by Ben FamaOffice Day by Sarah Rose EtterI Know About Micrograms Now by Tao LinFive Poems by Sam...


Five Dreams
by Jason Fiske

Kelly Schirmann


Your Freedom Country
by Emily May

Kelly Schirmann

Glancing around the theatre, I questioned if my comrades in matinee could discern that I was American, that these were the sins of my nation broadcast as a clumsy attempt at morality tale, that Western tourism in Thailand began with entertaining American soldiers during World War II. That I attended the same high school as Oliver Stone, and that this school exists to maintain and perpetuate white privilege and wealth, and acts as a tidy express lane to Wall Street itself. Of course they couldn’t tell, but I tried to make myself smaller in my seat anyway.

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Thank you -Gian


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